Supporting my father-in-law through Hospice Care
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Supporting my father-in-law through Hospice Care


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Supporting my father-in-law through Hospice Care

Since my last writing about caring for my father-in-law while in hospice care at our home he had been here at our home for a couple of weeks.  Watching and observing him as he moved in his body, I saw the weakening of his body, the way he moved that he needed more energy just getting out of his recliner to transition to his electric wheel chair.  He still refused to sleep in the hospital bed provided.  I was always curious why he refused.  At one point, he did try it only to find himself at 3 am calling me as he was half in the bed and half out of the bed with his butt sitting in a trash can.  He had no strength to get himself out of the position.  After that incident, he did not want to have anything to do with the bed.  I knew it was a matter of time when he would have to be in bed.  Every week the visiting nurse would come and check on dad.  He came to the conclusion that the nurse did nothing for him.  It wasn't until a month before he died that he wanted to buy mom a 60" TV (she is blind) that his nurse came through.  She ordered a portable oxygen tank that would provide enough oxygen on his outing.  The nurse ordered it in the morning and by early afternoon we took dad out with mom to buy the tv.  

A couple more weeks went by and dad was getting more weaker, still staying in his recliner the whole time.  The nurse told dad that he would get weaker as time went on.  I was up all night with dad as he did not want to be alone.  During the day, my husband and mom were home.  During the night is when I had the opportunity to talk with dad.  I got to know him.  Dad was not much for conversation.  He would make statements at time which would allow me to talk about what I believe in as we start down that road to death.  Dad was very afraid of dying.  He wasn't comfortable about what would happen.  I assured him that we would be here with him and that he as he had gotten weaker he would stay here at our home with me providing care along with my husband and that he would not be going to a nursing home.  That one statement brought peace - you could see as he relaxed in his body.  

During one night dad mentioned that he had started his obituary.  I had to go through some of the boxes we moved from California to see where the note book was where he had jotted a few statements. I found it and at 2:30 am we wrote his obituary.  I received his approval after a couple of minor errors.  He was quite comfortable with this process.

About a week before dad passed away he had said something about dying and again this is in the early morning.  I told him my believe is that as we transition we start to move from the physical world to the spiritual work and we start to see our loved ones that have passed away before us.  I said I thought that dad would see his two sons that passed away several years ago that would greet him.  He shook his head in disbelief.  I said "ok if that happens you have to send me a sign".  

So I am going to close for now and post more later.  I hope you are enjoying this.  

2 Comments to Supporting my father-in-law through Hospice Care:

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